We are all looking for some form of happiness. However, in our minds, we fail to get to that state of being happy. We struggle with the constant negative voice in our head that makes us feel unwanted, unloved and incapable. The problem is we think that happiness should come to us naturally. We believe that it is a natural process. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
Happiness is hard work. When you see articles telling you that you can be happy whenever you want, they are just selling hope. Happiness requires effort and you need to develop mental habits to become truly happy. Here are five mental habits that can make you really happy:
1. Being aware
The first thing that we need to do is to stop being ‘unaware’. We become unaware when we consciously ignore reality. This happens especially when you are in an abusive relationship. You face a lot of abuses from your partner, but somehow, you are the one who justifies it. You make a reason for them and think about how the abuse is justified. This kind of thinking is unrealistic, almost like a fairy tale thinking. One of the most important mental habits is when you start acknowledging what you are feeling and thinking. Do not suppress or justify it – if you are feeling pain or abuse, accept it. Living in denial never helps.
2. Be responsible
Whenever we commit a mistake or fall into a fix, we end up blaming others. Let’s say your lovely relationship falls apart or you lose your job – you will only end up blaming others. But sometimes, you need to look at yourself too. You may have made certain choices that led to that fate. Maybe you failed to understand your partner or you might have taken too many leaves in your job. Whatever be the case – it is time to bring a little responsibility in whatever you choose to do. It will empower you.
3. Love yourself
Yes, life can make it seem hard for you to love yourself. There is a negative voice inside that keeps demeaning you. However, it is time to develop mental habits that force the negative voice out and replace it with positive affirmations. Do not feel shame in what you do. Be gentle with yourself. If you feel like the going is getting tough for you, then ask for help. If you want, sometimes you can even reward yourself. Make yourself feel loved by your own mind and consciousness.
4. Be flexible
Do not be stubborn. Stubborn only engenders narrow-mindedness. It will only restrict you. It is important for us to grow. How can you know if you have grown? When you look back at an incident and judge it from a different perspective. Your perspective will only change if you allow it to change. So, be flexible – allow changes to take place in your mind. Develop the right kind of mental habits that allow changes to take place.
5. Be compassionate
Creating connections with others helps you to develop a positive mindset overall. There is a reason why many people have felt happy when they have helped someone. That smile on the face of someone needy – of someone whom you helped is priceless. So, bring joy to someone – be generous. If you start caring for others, your heart expands and makes more room for others. The bigger your heart, the more space for happiness to be a part of it.
So, develop your mental habits in a way that when you move forward, you have a smile stuck on your face!